Commitment and self-compassion -Dr Bobby Singh's journey to becoming a Counselling Psychologist
My interest in a helping role as a profession began at the age of 15. I first started volunteering in various hospital roles, volunteering on the wards. My role was to assist the nursing staff with any duties that they needed help with. Growing up as a gay man within a Punjabi cultural context, while also navigating a westernised society, presented significant challenges. Reflecting on my upbringing, I not only struggled to make sense of my sexual identity, but also how I fit within a westernised world. Identifying some of these struggles was difficult for me and only began to make sense when I embarked my own personal therapy journey at the age of 18, which enabled me to build understanding around my own difficulties and build my reflective skills.
Initially, I was planning on studying Medicine, which was my goal during my A-levels. I quickly realised that I wanted to pursue a career in psychology, but little did I know that the way to become a psychologist was not linear. During my Bachelor's, I realised all the different routes into the doctorate and the overwhelm that I was experiencing. During my BSc in Psychology, I undertook a range of volunteering roles, including working as a research assistant, volunteering with MIND, and working at a special needs camp through Camp America. After completing my BSc in Psychology, I trained as an adult Nurse to develop a deeper understanding of physical health conditions and their impact on psychological wellbeing. This led me to specialise in HIV and sexual health Nursing. Through this work, I became increasingly aware of the importance of help-seeking, the barriers individuals face, and the value of the therapeutic relationship. Many individuals expressed a need to talk about the emotional impact of their conditions, which ultimately inspired me to pursue Doctoral training in Counselling Psychology.
My journey as a trainee Counselling Psychologist has been very inspirational and challenging. I faced multiple challenges one being, I doubted myself many times, struggled with multiple pressures, adjusted to various changes which were out of my control and felt stuck several times. Friends and family often asked me when I will finish the doctorate. I soon realised that the journey has many challenges and that the time frame to finish, might increase. It took me six years in total, balancing unpaid placements and working alongside it. Being able to accept the process and the time frame was one of the hardest but most rewarding experiences.
My journey taught me resilience, acceptance and how to be compassionate to myself. I noted throughout that my resilience changed over the years. I started to be able to manage various projects at the same time. I was able to increase my ability to work under pressure. At the beginning of my research, I remember being hard on myself and putting a lot of pressure on myself. I noticed how my self-critical voice started to increase and soon I realised that it was not moving me forward. This changed my own relationship to myself on how I responded to my stressors by using compassion.
My advice for my fellow trainees is continue with the things that bring you joy, be compassionate to yourself and remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup, the doctorate journey is one of the most challenging journeys, but the end will come.
All the best,
Dr. Bobby Singh
Thank you Bobby for sharing your challenges and victories. The Psychology world is all the better with you in it! Your commitment, care, and self-compassion shine through.
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