Becoming the Dr I needed to see-Fabbiha's journey to becoming a Counselling Psychologist

Hi everyone and welcome to another chapter of the Pathways to Psychology blog. Today we hear from Fabbiha Tarafdar, trainee Counselling Psychologist. Fabbiha talks of the lack of equity and representation, often finding others had constructed an understanding of her in an ill-informed way, by racialising and limiting her potential. Despite these misgivings Fabbiha is succeeding. She has found her strength in being congruent, being compassionate, and being determined to walk her own path. Happy reading!

        Becoming Dr Fabbiha: The             Psychologist I Needed to See

Hi! I'm Fabbiha, a final-year trainee Counselling Psychologist. I wanted to share a little about who I am so that you can get a sense of the experiences that have shaped my journey. In doing so, I hope to inspire those considering a career in psychology and reassure you that there is no one way of being and relating to as a psychologist.

I am 30 years old, married, and a visibly Muslim woman. I am South Asian, although I was born and raised in the UK. Over the years, I have gained an extensive range of clinical experience across inpatient, forensic, and community mental health services, and I have completed training placements within NHS Talking Therapies (Step 3 CBT- cognitive behavioural therapy), a Cancer Psychology Service, and a third-sector organisation providing therapy for women. Alongside my clinical work, my doctoral research explores the workplace experiences of people from global majority backgrounds, with a particular focus on Muslim women and their engagement with workplace wellbeing initiatives. I am passionate about understanding the experiences of marginalised communities and exploring how psychological wellbeing is shaped not only by individual factors, but also by the social, cultural, economic, and systemic contexts in which people live and work.

As I reflect on my journey, I realise that my interest in becoming a psychologist began long before I knew what Counselling Psychology was. Since my teenage years, I have been fascinated by people and their stories - not only other people's, but my own as well, and like many young people, I was trying to make sense of where I fitted in as a British South Asian Muslim in a Western society. 

My family migrated to the UK, making significant sacrifices in the hope of creating greater opportunities for future generations. I attended an underperforming state school and grew up in a small town where there were very few people who looked like me. Difference was often visible, and my sense of belonging was often forced. I commuted three hours a day to and from college because I believed it would open doors that might otherwise have remained closed. However, I did not achieve the A-level grades I had hoped for. There were moments when I was called a failure. I was told that I had little to contribute and that I did not add value. Yet those voices and experiences did not define me.

I became the first generation in my family to attend university. I started working at 16 to cover my expenses and living, not by choice but because I grew up working class. After completing a BSc in Psychology, I went on to complete an MSc in Clinical Neuropsychiatry. By this point, I knew I was committed to becoming a practitioner psychologist.

As I grew older, I began to recognise that opportunities and access to resources are not distributed equally. My earlier belief that success is primarily the result of hard work and determination shifted, and while personal agency matters, I came to understand that people do not all begin from the same starting point, nor do they encounter the same barriers along the way. 

Many people complete psychology degrees, but relatively few go on to become psychologists. Part of this is because psychology offers such a wide range of career paths. However, it is also because the journey to qualification requires considerable resilience, commitment, and perseverance. 

I worked as a Support Worker before securing an Assistant Psychologist post within two years. Eager to broaden my clinical understanding, I sought opportunities across a range of services and settings, such as acute inpatient, psychiatric intensive care units, forensic wards, rehabilitation, specialist personality disorder wards, and community mental health settings. 

Quite quickly, I became aware that not many people in the profession looked like me. When you rarely see people who share your background within a profession, it can subtly shape what you believe is possible. I often found myself trying to sound like other psychologists - I believed I needed to sound, think, and present myself in a particular way in order to belong within the profession. 

Throughout my professional experiences, opportunities seemed to arise because I was the only ‘person of colour’ in the room. I use this term not because it reflects how I define myself, but because it remains a socially constructed category through which I was often racialised and positioned within systems of power. Whilst some opportunities appeared to create visibility, they also at times felt tokenistic, leaving me questioning whether I was being valued for my contribution or for what I represented.

At the same time, I observed that many opportunities afforded to others appeared more readily accessible to them, often without the same scrutiny, self-doubt, or need to prove competence. These differences were not simply the result of individual effort, talent, or motivation; they reflected broader systems and structures that privilege some groups whilst marginalising others. This realisation shifted how I came to understand that wider social structures shape whose potential is recognised, nurtured, and rewarded, and therefore individual lives cannot be fully understood without considering the social, cultural, and political contexts in which they unfold. 

Part of my motivation was to become the kind of psychologist I hoped to see; someone who could hold complexity, navigate multiple cultural worlds, and demonstrate that there is more than one way to belong within the profession.

There were many moments when I questioned whether I should continue. At times, changing careers felt like the easier option. Yet I remained committed to the journey. I learned not to let the voices of those who doubted me become louder than my own. I chose to believe that I was capable and that one day I would qualify.

However, one supervisor offered a perspective that has stayed with me ever since: "There are different therapists for different clients” and that “the relationship is more important than the intervention”. That conversation helped me realise that effective therapy is not about becoming someone else or being ‘polished’. It is about developing an authentic therapeutic presence. Over time, I came to appreciate that my abilities, qualities, skills, cultural background, faith, and perspective were not things to minimise to fit in; they were part of what allowed me to connect meaningfully with the people I worked with.

Four years later, I secured a place on the Professional Doctorate in Counselling Psychology. The route to becoming a Counselling Psychologist can be demanding. It often involves unpaid placements, hundreds of clinical hours, personal therapy, financial pressures, and the emotional resilience required to work therapeutically with people experiencing significant distress.

My journey as a trainee Counselling Psychologist has been both inspiring and challenging. It has been emotionally and intellectually demanding, requiring constant reflection and self-exploration. Alongside the demands of training, I have navigated a long-term health condition, financial pressures, family responsibilities, and academic commitments. Despite the challenges, the rewards are profound. Over time, this journey has taught me resilience, acceptance, and self-belief. It has deepened my appreciation for relationships, particularly in a world increasingly shaped by technology and artificial intelligence. It has also taught me the importance of boundaries: protecting my energy and being mindful of whose voices I allow to influence my sense of self.

Soon, I will become the first doctor in my family. While I am incredibly proud of that achievement, it is not the title that means the most to me. What matters most is knowing that somewhere, another aspiring psychologist who does not see themselves represented in the profession might read this and realise that there is space for them too. You do not need perfect grades, a perfect journey, or unwavering confidence to get here. You simply need to keep moving forward, remain curious, and trust that your experiences have value.

My advice to aspiring psychologists is this: become who you want to be, not who systems, stereotypes, or societal expectations suggest you should be. Take up space. Explore your interests. Gain experience across different settings. Draw on your creativity and strengths. Most importantly, practise compassion towards yourself along the way. Remember that everyone's journey is different - some people reach training sooner; others take longer. Some appear to progress more quickly. Yet even when we are all on a journey to qualification, we are walking our own path. 

There is no single way to become a psychologist. There is only your way.

All the best,

Fabbiha Tarafdar

Thank you so much Fabbiha for sharing your experiences. I am excited to see you completing your studies and building your career as a Counselling Psychologist. You have shown unrelenting care, compassion, and dedication to get this far, and your voice is loud and clear- individual difference is a strength we need to cherish and celebrate.

Maybe reading about Fabbiha reminded you of your own journey, please get in touch to add a blog entry.

Kind regards,

The Pathways Team.